Soap is not a condiment
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
