about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
that is very illegal...i love you.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
