I wish I could punch you in the face.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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