My liver just broke up with me...
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
