Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I have aggressive nipples.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
