Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
