last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
