Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
