just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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