What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
