I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
