I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
