Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
