craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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