Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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