But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
