You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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