need another drink. this is the easiest way
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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