You're so nebulous sometimes
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
