Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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