During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Houston, we have a blender
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I am one with the molecules
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
