how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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