this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
