And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
