do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
