I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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