i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
