Your mouth is God's brothel.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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