I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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