Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
