If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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