eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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