I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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