i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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