apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
