I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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