its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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