just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
