I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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