Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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