We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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