Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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