96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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