How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
