So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
