u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
