Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
