Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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