I'm pants shitting drunk right now
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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