had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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