Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
