if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
foreskin is a definite game changer
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize