Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
