just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
