on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My dick has a subreddit
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
