well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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