i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
