Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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