My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he thought i was a dude.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
