chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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