I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
