I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm like, not good at living.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
