I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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