I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
my being single is dangerous.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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