Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
