I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
