it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
